THE SONG I NEVER KNEW I COULD SING

Posted By Robbyn Blick on Jan 21, 2016 in #iheartzion, Updates | 14 comments


I always wanted to be a mom. I mean, babies. So cute and squishy. As a little girl I would pretend to have a baby on my hip while talking on the phone and cleaning the house. In my mind, motherhood had a perfect pitch and was never out of tune.

And then I became a mom.

I never knew what a selfish person I was until I had my firstborn son in 2005. I mean, this baby needed me… like all of the time! And not only that, but I didn’t even always know what he needed! I loved discovering motherhood though. I loved the new verse that was being written in our family and embraced our new melody.

Our verses quickly multiplied as we soon found out, getting pregnant was my thing. We had our second son in 2007, then a third boy in 2008. There were new beats and new rhythms to learn, and many days felt out of tune. After another pregnancy and immediate loss in 2009, we were pregnant again, now for the 5th time. (I told you getting pregnant was my thing;) Our news was received with tears and joy and our baby was due on my birthday, as if a sign of redeeming grace.

With having all boys, our gender reveal was highly anticipated. This pregnancy had been different so it seemed natural to let our minds wander into thoughts of a baby girl. Boy or girl, we were in love with this little one and couldn’t wait to add another verse to our song.

At 18 weeks pregnant we had an ultrasound, but the notes from this day, I had never heard. We were told there was no heartbeat, and our baby was gone. In an instant, without warning, I was left heartbroken. These notes were out of my range. I had never lost something so close to me. And the thoughts of loss within me were unbearable. Heartache and sorrow, blame and anger, a chorus I had not yet sung. This key was way too low, each stanza left me out of breath and at a loss for words. Who was composing this song? Surely it was not meant for me.

Then prayer and truth became my harmony as my family and friends began to pray peace into my heart and God’s word as my constant source. I found my anchor of hope, even in heartache, even in loss. This minor chord was light in the darkness, with a beautiful tone, and healing began.

With life changes and new beginnings, in 2011 we were adding another boy to our growing family. We became familiar with the rhythm of 4 boys, then yet again another tempo change. In 2014 another boy was on the way, so if you’re keeping the beat and following along, I was now on my 7th pregnancy! I had done this all before and I’d been singing this song for almost 10 years, so I was pretty sure I could handle another verse.

Until I heard these lyrics. These I could not sing.

Sorrow. Hopelessness. Death. What music could they bring?

But in my desperation, my cries from the sting,

My anthem was written, to glorify the King.

The harmony of fear and hope made the most beautiful sound as we welcomed our 5th beautiful boy into this world. The underscore of grace allowed each emotion to find it’s pitch. From love to loss, the volume changed, but praising Jesus through it all. Accompanied by God’s unfailing love and daily pursuit for His truth, our song was amplified to bring Him glory.

I never would have written these lyrics, selected this piece, or sang in this key, but I’ve learned that Jesus knows my voice and composed the perfect song for me. He knew every verse and chorus, every rhythm and beat, and I continue to practice the scales He has taught me.

My family is the song I never knew I could sing.

My anthem was written, to glorify the King.

14 Comments

  1. I love every word of this, dear friend. Your song is being sung in the heavenly realms with the angels voices, loud and clear….and dear Zion is hearing it for eternity. I love you!!!

    Post a Reply
  2. This is the most beuatiful thing I have ever read in my whole life. Ever. Your King has written you a beautiful love song and one day…we will get to hear Him sing it over you. Straight from His mouth to our ears! I’m gonna be there for that standing next to you xoxox you are beautiful beyond compare my friend. Love you.

    Post a Reply
  3. Hebrews 11:11-13 (NIV) “Both the One who makes people holy and those who are made holy are of the same family. So Jesus is not ashamed to call them brothers and sisters. He says “I will declare your name to my brothers (Baby Zion) and sisters; in the assembly I will SING your praises (Baby Zion)”. And again, “I will put my trust in him.”

    Jesus has been singing your song before you knew you would sing; ,with you when you first began to sing; and now, through you Robbyn and Josh (and Blick Tribe) when you didn’t think you could sing anymore. I imagine Jesus singing over Zion right now, face to face, while He also directs your daily Anthem to and from the Heavens.

    This is such a beautiful and powerful love letter Robbyn. Thank you for being so trusting and brave to share it with all of us. I can’t wait to meet Zion again. I love you sweet one. Beth

    Post a Reply
  4. So precious, every word. It touches my heart so deeply and makes me praise the One who has never left your side. So, so proud to call you friend. Thanks for showing us God’s faithfulness. Love you!!!

    Post a Reply
  5. I had my first baby almost at the time as you had Zion. I prayed with you, I ached with you and every word you wrote helped me to value even more this little life I hugged close to me. Even now, I keep thinking of how great life, love and motherhood are God’s blessing. Thanks to you. thank you !

    Post a Reply
    • Oh how sweet. Thank you for sharing that with me and letting me know how Zion’s life has impacted you. God has a plan. Always. Much love!

      Post a Reply
  6. The most beautiful thing next to Scripture I’ve ever listened to. I’ve heard your song and your voice is glorious. Mimi ⚓️

    Post a Reply
  7. Robbyn,
    Thank you for sharing your deepest self on your blog. Your words are very well written and I pray that others may come to know Jesus through you, your life and this blog. Take Care,
    Holly
    Ps I have 3 boys in my tribe 😉

    Post a Reply

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *